Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
