do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
