We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Your face is a jimmy john
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
