the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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