im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
