Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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