Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize