I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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