She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
