i think my tv is drunk
Even the bartender felt bad for me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
