if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
id be glad to
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
