Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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