Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
either way he was missing a nipple.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize