We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
