walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
