I skipped work to stalk him.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
