sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dicks are not precious.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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