Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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