I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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