you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You can't just leave with hair like that
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need to calm my uterus...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
