Who wears a wallet chain?!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
