they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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