JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
