have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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