Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
