Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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