I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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