The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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