if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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