You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
