There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
