Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
