her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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