Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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