Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
