I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
