i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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