I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
