my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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