am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
