i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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