I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's blow job season.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
