but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
