1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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