You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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