that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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