She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
