my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
