She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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