dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
