Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
