question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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