super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
