its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
