She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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