You're my little dorito
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
