he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
