If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
