I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
