new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
