and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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