Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
