he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
