I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
